Mar
12
Written by
mike
I'm 20 years old and have been dating this guy for the past year and 9 months. he's 26 and in the navy. i'm a full time student. we met when he was stationed in the same town as my school and have been maintaining a long distance relationship ever since.
the problem is i think i fell too fast and too hard. i love him. truly madly and deeply, but i've never gotten the same from him. i hear from his friends he's crazy about me and wants to marry me and thinks i'm the one and that this is serious but he never admits that to me. we've been through A LOT, many life changing events, but it seems so easy for him to just say bye.
He's always trying to break up with me, saying it's for the best and that he's not good enough for me. We get in arguments about it all the time, and i'm always trying to get him back.
I hate that i seem so needy but i've had a rough childhood and have little support from friends and family so i just want someone to love and to be loved in return. When we first started dating i wasn't thinking of getting serious but i can't help how I was feeling or what my heart wanted.
we've recently talked of moving in together after he returns from his deployment in 2010, and he seemed down for that, but last night he said he wants it but he doesn't. he says sometimes he doesn't know what he wants and that he wants to do this whole-heartedly, and that he knows i love him and care for him and he feels the same way.
his argument used to be " i gotta get my life together" and he has. he wasn't passing his test to move up in rank and he finally did. i think he wants to make a career out of the military which is fine with me. it just always seems like he wants to look on the negative sides of things. "what if we fall out of love with eachother" or "what if you get bored of me". he always says he wants to be financially stable first. but i hate waiting around for him. i guess i still have hope for us but i always get hurt.
Yes, i'm young, but what it so wrong about wanting to settle down and be with just one person? what's wrong with wanting love?
please help!maybe he feels pressured. after all if he doesnt get back til 2010 whats the big rush for an answer now. you got another year. drop the subject for a little while. give him some time to think about what exactly it is he wants. then try talking to him. make sure you make your feelings plain.You are young and life is ups and downs and evertything else. No matter how much you have experienced now is will never be what you will experience later. Stop fretting over what someone else is doing and focus on YOU. You need to realize that no matter how much love you get from someone else it should not define you as a person. If someone llike us or loves us or hates us, we should be secure enough to not let it solely dictate who we are. Because if you do let others feelings define you, you are at their mercy for good or bad. To have a truly healthy realtionship you need two independent adults that want to be with each other not NEED to be with each other. And go to therapy, you might not think you need it but talking to someone is cathardic and helps relieve tension and bad memories. The best advice is to go to school or work and improve your life. And seek therapy it will help you live a better life. So things like this don't become much more important than they need to be.There is nothing wrong with wanting love...nothing at all.
The problem here is he doesn't seem to know if he really wants to be with you, which is incredibly unfortunate. There is only so much you can take before you will start resenting his behavior and feeling negatively toward him.
You definitely should move on.Look i don't want to sound mean or anything but you seem CRAZY for this guy... which is a good thing but this guy doesn't seem to feel the same. Maybe he really does love you but right now is just not the time. You should go out and enjoy yourself you know meet new people, because the important thing on his mind right now is his career and not you....... Just give it time and dont do what your heart tells you because that usually messes things up Do what you think is best for you, not for him.i understand where u comming from guys have all type of excusses so dey can break up wit u so dey can do there thing dont get me wrong he loves u and cares 4 u but guys gone be guys u still young u have your whole life in front of u. just because u think u find dat right one dat dont means yall gone be still 2 gather & 4 ever i seen some realtionships i also been in your shoes before till dis dat i not with dat person i move on u still young find u somebody else who gone love u and be there 4 you and your feelings take care of u first then try 2 be in a reationship god know wat hes doing things happend 4 a reson one day u might find u somebody else never close ur door cuz u think hes da one 4 u keep it open at all da time god bless uYou're still young and should go out and see what different guys are like.. dates and such. If it's meant to be then he will return and you guys will end up together!#If you have any other info about this subject , Please add it free.# |
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